LMSCC won by 30 Runs with 113 for 8
SCC at 83 runs for 5
Friendly4 20-20

Comrades! Once more we strolled onto the Friendly 4 tournament Pitch, this time at Southgate. Not North Middlesex, no! Southgate. A lot further than we were expecting and changed last minute. We shall not cry unfair, as we are not children who get upset at leaving home. For we are travelers, wherever we lay our caps, that’s our home. Of interest though when we consider our fixtures for 2015.

We had a number of late comers due to the last minute change but we commenced in a happy frame of mind. Bowling under way with Jontin and Hodderoffski. Nice to see a change of face at the opening and to full effect too. Hodderoffski took their opener for 6, caught and bowled! A gentle leap to his right and the ball smartly taken – great work, comrade! Then out splendid tourist, Hooperoff, stepped up and at the end of his first over took Goodman, clean bowled.

I joined in the attack and took Yates, clean bowled and don’t take a breath, there’s no time! What followed was a beautiful double act of and Cobramovich. The former providing a tempter which Chowdrey smacked back over his head. Carrying to corpse length from the boundary where Cobramovich dipped and scooped it up, two feet from the ground. Fast too, great work, Cobramovich.

Holt was out LBW after a smashing arrival of Soldya, whose spell went on to produce another  wicket, that of Blyth for 3, clean bowled. Marx-B then smashed the stumps of Griffin! Wow, the bowling attack worked really well for this match and new to the collective and punishingly effective was Louinski Bamberov who played mind games with first few balls and then took the wicket of Austin.

In the field, the word was GOOD! Deserving of special mention is Sewelski who deploying his full range of tactical stops was able to hold off at least 20 extra runs throughout the innings. The catch of Cobramovich goes without saying – but exemplary. Special congratulations to Captain Brandonovski and Cobramovich, his vice. The field placement for the match was excellent, with always good hands, a foot or a chest (!) to stop the ball and get it back. Very impressed in the ‘Polite bureau’ [sic], we are!

Although the skies had cleared and we were chasing a total of 113, the sun was very low and light running away from us. So it wouldn’t be an easy innings by any means. Openers were Cobramovich and Hodderoffski who made 62 between them. Hodderoffski notably two 6s and five 4s – great work again! Hooper, Marx-B, Brandonovski and Jontin also got bats but it’s hard to report much here as batting in the murk is hardly easy. But of course, we are grateful for their valiant work.

One final commendation is to comrade commissar treasurer, Ilyeva. Who galliantly stepped forward and umpired for most of our innings. Many of our comrades must take note of this and aim to do the same within the season.

Semper sodales, fors et victores!

This extra from comrade commissar, Cobramovich!

Gentlemen Cricketers,
Thank you to all 4 teams for the efforts put into making Round 2 happen on Friday, despite the challenge of losing one of the North Mid pitches.
Please find attached updated F4 table, results (see R2 in column 2nd from left) & final round fixtures. Please distribute this to your respective teams.
Despite Belsize Park’s finest, VCC Currymen, looking unassailable with only Round 3 to go, do not be misled. The eccentric points system* means it really is still ‘all to play for’, especially in (Crouch End) Tavs’ and (Southgate) Martians’ case. Even old-style socialist dark horses  Soho – who you will note have only taken 1 wicket less than VCC, and are 2nd in the sixes column – are not mathematically out of the running!
Should be a night not to miss on July 11th…
All best wishes,
LMSCC Innings
Our Innings



Francov Cobramovich
Francov Cobramovich

40 overs, timed.
LMSCC win by 6 wickets. 
SCC 98 all out

The sickening decadence of the leafy West London suburbs. Complacent, restrained wealth, without a hint of honest, hard-won Muscovite bling. Bird-tweety tree-lined streets. Faux classical bridges in a peaceful park. Happy young families untainted by grim service of the Motherland…Chis-Vick: You get the picture, nyet? The very non-Socialist setting for 2014’s first battle to crush colonialist capitalism at its only decent creation ever – apart from Ze Beatles – Crick-Et !

Yuri’s dog, the ludicrous, self-appointed ‘Lieutenant General’ Francov Cobramovich led the glorious Collective out to bat, accompanied by the Transylvanian classicist Vlad ‘Impaler’ Boringski. And how boring they indeed were, comrades! Nearly three-quarters of an hour spent Dorothying, dot-ing and generally pansying about with innumerable forward defensives and the like. Only the early season sunshine lifted the mood of your humble state scribe.

With the scoreboard on a turgid 27, Vladimir was himself impaled by none other than Altmanov, the latter bowling for LMS. But worry not comrades, the thespian National Treasure has not defected. Along with fellow gent Davidov Hannant of Brighton Xiles, Altmananov was most chivalrously guesting for the opposition, who had turned up under-strength.

Over the next 12 overs though, Vlad’s replacement, the towering Robski, rapidly accelerated the SCC score before his timbers were toppled. And soon after, blessed relief, so were Cobra’s, after an interminable 85 minutes out in the middle, largely spent posing in his White Russian helmet.

56-3 off 23; but with over an hour left to bat, seven wickets in hand, and some lusty, harvest-honed bladesmen to come, surely SCC could still notch a respectable score? However, the middle order – with the exception of big-hitting debutante Sametski Hodderin – had all evidently been too busy before their innings…flirting with the assembled summer-skirted, Soviet PAWS, to consider this most serious sporting question.

SCC v LMSCC Chiswick House
Chiswick House

One by one, Communist batters four, five, seven and eight each fell for year Zero. I shall not waste Pravda’s typewriter ink naming and shaming the culprits here. Our coach, former Sri Lankan international ‘Keithy’ will doubtless ensure they are suitably punished, hopefully with the club side arm.

Only new star Hodderin, S. (22 runs, with a huge six over mid wicket amongst his four boundaries) and supreme Tzar Yuri (a well-judged 14 not out) salvaged some honour and fighting spirit amongst this mass desertion of duty on the battlefield: The Collective had scraped to 98 all out.  Stats fans (and Keithy…) will be fascinated to learn that eight of LMS’s ten wickets were achieved clean bowled. Chief executioner proved to be London Marshes’ devilishly nagging spinner Brawton, senior: This sadistic veteran took a nastily impressive 5-25 off 11 tortuous overs.

Bolstered by a thoroughly delightful French cuisine-inspired spoof of English tea – kind courtesy Madamoiselle Yankeroff – of rich cream scones, home-cooked sausage rolls and traditional sandwiches, spirits were extremely high as SCC took the field to defend a near indefensible total.

Reaching it was to prove no cakewalk for LMS: Mad Soldya Hatscape, Timov Chipmonski and Hitmanherski Yankerov all bowled economical short spells. Hodderin S. and Ilyeva Luncherov were revelations in the field, the latter in particular endlessly sprinting and diving to cover every centimetre of a Steppe-sized zonal fielding area.

Sametski’s brother and fellow debutante Danov Hodderin had boldly opened the bowling (with Yankerov), keeping LMS curtailed with fine figures of 5-0-18-1. Despite struggling with a virus, Vice Captain Brandonovski then made a tricky catch at backward square look nonchalantly easy. And Tzar Yuri topped the attack charts, with three fine wickets.

After 22.1 not entirely nerveless overs though, the Capitalists triumphed, but – such was our Socialistic performance with the ball – the six-wicket victory perhaps even slightly flattered the victors: Encouraging signs, comrades!

Now, anybody have Keithy’s e-mail address…?!?