Tag: Altmananov


CBCC win at 122 for 2
SCC at 119 for 9
40 over not timed

There is an air of the grotto about Chesham Bois’ pitch. A little grotto of cricket where we turn up each year and ask Santa for something special. He hasn’t yet delivered to be honest, at least not with a victory. But in terms of welcome and fun, he has provided ten-fold. And there was no rain or drizzle to be seen! So we all got ourselves prepared and found ourselves in bat. I was late, so Vice Cobramovich limbered up and walked out to open with Vlad. What a pair. What a challenge and a great start too. Slow and steady was required and so it was. As captain, I got my order wrong. We slowed too much and gave ourselves a hill to climb.

Vlad took an impressive 28 with a 3 fours and a six. Cobramovich and Chipmonkski notching 19 and 18. Then a lovely 25 from Samovar with a six to boot! But from our overs we had found only 119 and we knew they were going to be tough to budge.

This is where a rigorous, cricket tea talk-down is required, and many fingers were wagged, many tongues loosened, huffty shoulders were shrugged and terse accusations insinuated. All very un-SCC but as we see too much of a smile in each others’ grimace, we returned happier to the field to set about their bats.

The last light for cricket

Facing Withams and Holloway is bound to loosen the surrounding branches and despite an almost fierce opening by myself and Chipmonkski, it wasn’t happening. Being a forgetful Skipper I only bowled five and not the six overs I had planned but it didn’t hurt as we needed a change. My five overs cost 26 and Chipmonkski’s 36. So Yankerhoff and Jontin in. The former saving some face and taking The Golden Duck of Green through a catch – cannot remember who took it. Anyone?

An over each to Brandonoffski and Altmananov. Now a word must be said and a congratulatory one too, to comrade Altmananov! He doesn’t play too often as he under special duties on the Eastern Front. What he does for the mother country is secret with only millions of people knowing. However, when he can, he plays. Rarely yet, he gets a chance to bowl for we prefer to keep his unique delivery weapon under-wraps. But today he bowled and pitched a corker that tempted Holloway to deliver a catch to Samovar. We salute Altmananov!

They had us beat in 15 overs. We just weren’t up to top speed today. However, we dod have a quick and fun 10/10 match after to play some more which was a nice offer. Although we lost that too. But once again, my lovelies, as I said in to comrade commissar Brandonoffski in a pub once, “I don’t want the SCC to turn into some kind of lethal, winning machine!” (Please correct me Pete!)

Do Svidaniya!

CBCCvSCC Our innings 2014
CBCC v SCC Their innings 2014

MATCH REPORT – PSCC v SCC 17th May 2014

40 overs, timed.
PSCC win by 4 wickets on 225 runs. 
SCC 89 all out

2014-05-17 19.42.36
Altmananov and Thomas Pedeez

Penn Street is always a good game to start the season and this year was no different. Weather was sufficiently dry and it brightened up as the evening wore on. I undertook a big gamble by bringing Kate and the twins along and may I say, how lovely and supportive everyone was. Hats off to Comrade Altmananov for performing top baby management with a very dribbly Thomas.

PSCC batted first and the wicket which was not very dry and still had a scent of British Spring to it. Our bowling commenced not too badly, myself and Yankheroff starting okay. The latter with 39 off 8 overs – good work, comrade. I was 43 off 9 with a wicket maiden and 2 wickets (that felt nice) – Reevey and Smith, both high on the off stump.

Samovar and Soldya performing like a beautiful duet and the latter catching Sutherland. How reassuring to get stuck into the top three wickets for 95.  Chipmunkski was up for 2 wickets, an catch from Jontin and a clean bowled too. Nib Nib Nib, comrade~! Then shortly after Jontin clean bowled Armiger to much jubilation.

We did our best and had the overs complete for tea at half four. They had notched up a sturdy 225 runs and we knew then that a draw was probably the best option to play for. Shame!

2014-05-17 19.47.04 HDR
It’s all over

In bat, Mullertov and Soldya made not a bad opening. Soldya of course had his eye on his taxi that was waiting to take him into town so perhaps that opened up his style and he was out caught for 5. Highest scorers were Mullertov and Cobramovich at 20 and 19 respectively. 60 balls face by Cobramovich so a good draw making eye.

Chipmunkski has benefited from winter nets and was respectable at 12 off 44 balls. Good and solid work. The rest of us fell to some excellent bowling but I felt that in all, the SCC is improving with the bat – Good work comrades.



PSCC Innings
SCC Innings


Francov Cobramovich
Francov Cobramovich

40 overs, timed.
LMSCC win by 6 wickets. 
SCC 98 all out

The sickening decadence of the leafy West London suburbs. Complacent, restrained wealth, without a hint of honest, hard-won Muscovite bling. Bird-tweety tree-lined streets. Faux classical bridges in a peaceful park. Happy young families untainted by grim service of the Motherland…Chis-Vick: You get the picture, nyet? The very non-Socialist setting for 2014’s first battle to crush colonialist capitalism at its only decent creation ever – apart from Ze Beatles – Crick-Et !

Yuri’s dog, the ludicrous, self-appointed ‘Lieutenant General’ Francov Cobramovich led the glorious Collective out to bat, accompanied by the Transylvanian classicist Vlad ‘Impaler’ Boringski. And how boring they indeed were, comrades! Nearly three-quarters of an hour spent Dorothying, dot-ing and generally pansying about with innumerable forward defensives and the like. Only the early season sunshine lifted the mood of your humble state scribe.

With the scoreboard on a turgid 27, Vladimir was himself impaled by none other than Altmanov, the latter bowling for LMS. But worry not comrades, the thespian National Treasure has not defected. Along with fellow gent Davidov Hannant of Brighton Xiles, Altmananov was most chivalrously guesting for the opposition, who had turned up under-strength.

Over the next 12 overs though, Vlad’s replacement, the towering Robski, rapidly accelerated the SCC score before his timbers were toppled. And soon after, blessed relief, so were Cobra’s, after an interminable 85 minutes out in the middle, largely spent posing in his White Russian helmet.

56-3 off 23; but with over an hour left to bat, seven wickets in hand, and some lusty, harvest-honed bladesmen to come, surely SCC could still notch a respectable score? However, the middle order – with the exception of big-hitting debutante Sametski Hodderin – had all evidently been too busy before their innings…flirting with the assembled summer-skirted, Soviet PAWS, to consider this most serious sporting question.

SCC v LMSCC Chiswick House
Chiswick House

One by one, Communist batters four, five, seven and eight each fell for year Zero. I shall not waste Pravda’s typewriter ink naming and shaming the culprits here. Our coach, former Sri Lankan international ‘Keithy’ will doubtless ensure they are suitably punished, hopefully with the club side arm.

Only new star Hodderin, S. (22 runs, with a huge six over mid wicket amongst his four boundaries) and supreme Tzar Yuri (a well-judged 14 not out) salvaged some honour and fighting spirit amongst this mass desertion of duty on the battlefield: The Collective had scraped to 98 all out.  Stats fans (and Keithy…) will be fascinated to learn that eight of LMS’s ten wickets were achieved clean bowled. Chief executioner proved to be London Marshes’ devilishly nagging spinner Brawton, senior: This sadistic veteran took a nastily impressive 5-25 off 11 tortuous overs.

Bolstered by a thoroughly delightful French cuisine-inspired spoof of English tea – kind courtesy Madamoiselle Yankeroff – of rich cream scones, home-cooked sausage rolls and traditional sandwiches, spirits were extremely high as SCC took the field to defend a near indefensible total.

Reaching it was to prove no cakewalk for LMS: Mad Soldya Hatscape, Timov Chipmonski and Hitmanherski Yankerov all bowled economical short spells. Hodderin S. and Ilyeva Luncherov were revelations in the field, the latter in particular endlessly sprinting and diving to cover every centimetre of a Steppe-sized zonal fielding area.

Sametski’s brother and fellow debutante Danov Hodderin had boldly opened the bowling (with Yankerov), keeping LMS curtailed with fine figures of 5-0-18-1. Despite struggling with a virus, Vice Captain Brandonovski then made a tricky catch at backward square look nonchalantly easy. And Tzar Yuri topped the attack charts, with three fine wickets.

After 22.1 not entirely nerveless overs though, the Capitalists triumphed, but – such was our Socialistic performance with the ball – the six-wicket victory perhaps even slightly flattered the victors: Encouraging signs, comrades!

Now, anybody have Keithy’s e-mail address…?!?