Tag: SCC

Nets – MASSIVE WINTER TURNOUT

Yuri Beholds Matrix
Yuri Beholds Matrix

Comrades! I stand before you, whilst being sat at my computer, astonished by last week’s turnout at the nets. And the weather, comrades in willow, was far from seasonal. The cold wind that snapped up about our Urals was as bitter as the draft from an Eskimo’s freezer door. More frigid and damp air could not be found in a nun’s pond. I promise there shall be no more similes  Which is a believable as squirrel with three nuts. But it was COLD!

We had an amazing turnout: Ilyeva, Brandonovski, Soldya, Altmananov, Boringski, Samovar and myself, Yuri. Two nets, the side-arm and a suitable amount of kit to keep the frequency of batting practice up. Ilyeva has taken quite a shine to this weapon of bowling and after an hour was getting the ball down the end of the wicket at an alarming pace and thankfully, accurate too. This little device has truly helped us to build on our batting skills.

We were deploying the three hits and swap method so there were nearly always 3 or 4 bats padded up and swapping out after a run of three balls. It works well and also provides a bit of running. Keeps the eyes hungry too as you never get long enough to just smack the balls away. I was lucky enough to return to my first bat which I didn’t use all last year for fear of its weight and grandeur. Fool was I, for this nets it came upon me as an epiphany and I shall hence forth use her wisely!

More nets this week of course and if we get the same turn-out I shall be amazed. But without doubt the turnout was fantastic and I have included a photograph of the usual suspects below. We cannot stress enough, comrades; The nets are completely open. If you ever played and are embarrassed to come back or if you never played and think you will know nobody there – it does not matter. We are all comrades together and it would be lovely to see you all at the nets. Please make it along as it will really help our game and your selection!

Do Svidaniya – Yuri!

The Unusual Suspects
The Unusual Suspects

Comrade Altmananov is amongst us

Altmananov
Altmananov

Comrades!

Welcome amongst us our newest comrade – We shall call him comrade Altmananov (pronounced: Alt-Man-Annov). He has of course another name, John Altman but this lingers from his previous imperialist days which he has now shed to find shelter amongst our fine body of red adorned cricketeers!

He was with us last week as we fought off the biting cold to improve our batting averages. Joined by Brandonovski, Robski, Ilyeva and myself we made a fine five and hurtled our batting averages upwards. Altmananov has a good eye, in fact, two. Like the rest of us, work required on stroke play but we see fine potential amongst his batting. Famed of course for his nasty Nick reputation, it is with utmost respect that i may say, comrades, a more suitably pleasant and mild mannered addition he makes to our collective.

Welcome aboard, comrade Altmananov!

Yuri

The Umpire(s) Strike Back

Freezing Lords
Freezing Lords

Myself and our Glorious Premier have signed-up to take an ECB umpiring course. Both of us felt we were lacking some knowledge and that having two ‘qualified’ umps within the SCC ranks would only be a good thing.

PLEASE NOTE – This does not mean we’re going to stand for every ball of every game, so the rest of you still aren’t off the hook! [Ed: Not by a long fuqin hook!]

Here follows a small précis of events from the first couple of weeks, stay tuned for further updates as the course progresses – same (cricket) bat time, same (cricket) bat channel.

Lord’s claim to being the Home of Cricket is not up for debate, sadly its position as the Home of an Effective Central Heating System is less secure. It would take a better scribe than me to explain to you, dear reader, just how cold our classroom was, suffice to say that Old Father Time looked positively cosy on his perch atop the Mound Stand compared to our shivering group of prospective Bowdens.

Our group, a motley crew of 15 assorted cricket bores, sat attentively while Norman, the font of all things umpire, explained what we had let ourselves in for. Six weeks of instruction, each described as a ‘delivery’ ( see what they did there?), then a mock exam with a final exam taking place on the final night.

Assuming we pass, our CVs will feature the ECB ACO Level 1 qualification, the bottom rung of a ladder that could elevate your comrades to the dizzy heights of Level 5 followed by an invitation by the ICC to join their Elite Panel of umpires who stand at test matches (it’d save me fortune in tickets if nothing else).

Thus far we’ve covered such topics as ‘what to do if a dog runs off with the ball’ – the answer is the ball is dead (so would be the dog if it got in the way of one of Sam’s quicker deliveries) and the ‘correct time for conducting the toss’ – the answer is not as I guessed ‘whenever you can drag the captains out of the warm pavilion’, but a very precise time window of ‘not earlier than 30 minutes, nor later than 15 minutes before the scheduled or any rescheduled time for the match to start’. Scintillating stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree!