Tag: Tony Dickie

Match Report: Stonor CC v SCC 15th September 2012

Lenin in Stonor

Stonor CC win by 7 wickets scoring 219
SCC all out for 95
Timed match

Comrades, it is almost unbelievable that our last match of the season has been played. I am so upset, I haven’t yet even opened my kit bag to clean my whites. However, Mrs. Yuri will no doubt soon be bend my ear to do so. Still, as the season has to end, it could not have ended with a more beautiful, exciting and friendly fixture as this. Stonor CC came as manner from a communist heaven (Minsk?) to replace the dissolved fixture with the NFTS. It will be back next year, but so will Stonor, I hope! Thanks to The Fixture List for tipping me the nod,  cocking me a wink or wibbling me wobble.

Strolling out into the Valley of the living, gazed down on by Red Kites and Dear from the valley’s soft, encompassing hills, one was filled with a desire to play smashing cricket and be jolly hearted and hopeful. Cobramovich captained and won the toss and put the oppo into bat, we were off.

Collings and Powell strolled purposefully out into their field of battle, the SCC gathering themselves to play. The sun was bright and hot and the bowling opened with myself and Antonov. I had bowled two balls to dot, then on my third, Collings made a playful swoosh and edged the ball high and into the grateful and sticky hands of our comrade, Andropov Sewelski. An amazing start. I felt quite bad, being so familiar to the batsman’s situation myself, but Andropov and I will bathe in the wicket, thank you very much!

Replacing Collings was Left hander, Nicholson. Reviewing the scorecard I realise that I almost had exclusive use of Nicholson with few other bowlers getting a go at him. Although he had much more use of me than him. Antonov held down Powell quite well on the other side but it took until an unfortunate 49 for Antonov to get a snick and provide Robski with a great double catch at the wicket. A very valuable bat to take.

Deanov delivers

Antonov had 6 overs for 32 runs and a wicket, nice and economic compared to my 8 for 48 and 1. Much improved results from Antonov mark well for next season whereas my plans for round-the-wicket slip catching may go back on hold. KanKan and Chipmonkski were soon bowling. The former once again coming in like a Steam Roller and the Chipmonkski with his punishing demi-loft, lengthy nibble-off-the bails bowl. Though neither Nicholson or Mayo fell, KanKan had 24 off 6 overs and Chipmonkski, 31 from his first 4 over spell.

Jontin now presented his sterling, communist self at the crease and on his second over, suckered the unsuspecting, though already comfortable at 64 Powell into pitching the ball hard and high on the offside towards the pavilion. What followed, comrades, was a cross between a balletic pirouette and side step, an elegant presentation of both arms above the head and a scooping up of the ball in both hands by Vladimir Boringski (aka Charlie). He took a tumble but came up ball in hand. Beautiful.

Aged Dad

Mayo retired hurt at 50 leaving Hunt and young S.Kimber to face Deanov and Chipmonkski on a second spell. Hunt achieved 30 and the young blood, 2 – but his first proper runs we are told, so collective hats off to him, comrades! Deanov’s 4 overs cost 28 and Jontin’s 6 for 45 and 1 wicket, don’t forget. Chipmonkski’s second spell of 2 overs for 2.

I find fielding first not to my liking, comrades. I was quite bushed and the thought of settling down to the scorecard and dotting up our batting was a relief. Something that we must improve at in capability. It helps your Maths and makes you a better cricketer, comrades. It would also mean you can avoid umpiring! If you avoid both umpiring and scoring then the polit bureau will be taking a close look at selection time.

Deanov and Vladimir Boringski opened for us. Agar and Denton bowling. Agar had three maidens in 7 overs and cost only 13 runs – so nice and tidy. It did mean that Deanov had to play tight and build up to his normal prowess. Vlad too was keeping it tidy but Denton had other ideas and on his 2nd over got Vlad LBW for 0. This brought Robski in.

Denton again took our comrade Robski and this time a wicket. At this point we were 7 for 3. Oh dear. Familiarity breeds contempt and this situation is utterly contemptuous. What we needed was steady dotting and Captain Cobramovich stepped up and in. There was peace and calming vibes. no more wickets now for forty five minutes and the score could slowly rise. Deanov beginning to scent blood and bone. A blade flashing for collective might. Cobramovich steeling his nerve.

“Another bat, premier?”

Denton and Agar had their spells and swapped out with Kimber and and Griffiths. Then Kimber jnr. and Collings. Now Deanov was off on a batting mission and we were up to 58. Captain Cobramovich was stumped off Griffiths slinking snake like back to the crease for 5. His return to the steps brought a sunken expression of “I know not to do that” but we were not down hearted. Brandonovski would keep Deanov company, and did so with similar style and grace as our captain. Dotting away like a pro.

Young Sam Kimber took his first grown up wicket (that is to say, a wicket of a grown-up not a fully developed set of stumps) off Deanov just after his 50. Brining in Samovar. Now both Kimber’s were bowling but it was young Kimber again who snaffled Brandonovski by enabling a catch in the field after he had dotted 27 balls, so well done. Poor Andropov very rapidly fell to young Kimber too, caught and bowled.

Disarray in the ranks! Samovar out for 13 to Sam’s father, Antonov in and out in five minutes being bowled Collings. Jontin was now keeping Chipmonksi company and he made a fine communist, if somewhat aristocratically compromised dot of it. Chipmonkski was bowled Denton and so in I popped as tail end Charlie. I padded one ball and then let Jontin face. But we we weren’t there for too much longer as Denton bowled Jontin next over. We were all out for 95. Another SCC batting experience with high points and many, many low points.

Brothers in scoring.
Especially fond of my box on the table

High points with the bat are Deanov’s 50 then some stoical “staying in” and slowing the rot by captain Cobramovich and Jontin. But joining these usual suspects were two splendid additions to the “I can stay in the crease” gang, Brandonovski and Chipmonkski. Well done comrades, sometimes for these timed games, staying in is worth a hell of a lot.

comrade Vladimir Boringski

A very great day in the delightful Stonor Park and great weather too. Great thanks to all at Stonor for their hospitality and art work in the changing rooms(!).  Well done to young Sam Kimber for playing so well and to our splendid support from young Owen Sewelski stepping in early on to cover some late players. Boooh to the traffic in Henley!

…But a big thanks to all of us comrades for making this final match and the whole season so enjoyable and mutually splendid. A finer bunch of cricketing, communistic styled, soho based, media professionals and dependants you will not meet. Unless you do of course. In which case… ATTACK!

Your very devoted comrade commissar Premier, Yuri.


As ever, the scorecards are below!

spcc-v-scc-15-sep-2012-usStonor CC innings spcc-v-scc-15-sep-2012-themSCC innings

Match Report: Ryde CC v SCC 12th August 2012

Pete Tully smacks it hard
Pete Tully smacks it hard

RCC win by 96 making 174 runs
SCC all out for 78
40 over match

Ryde CC is nestled in the woods just south of Ryde on the Isle of Wight. A beautiful place, a stunning ground, gorgeous weather and bloody difficult to get the team together! I think the ferry cost is a big part but comrades, what a match it makes.

There was a little camping festival nearby at Carpenter’s Farm, Chipmonkski, Brandonovski, Yuri, Antonov, Ilyeva and Robski, associated family and loved ones, cars, vans and too much food. So, come Sunday the team gurgled into fine tempered form. Joining us were captain Cobramovich, Jontin, Davidof Hooperski and Petrov Tully of the Xiles and one of our founder members, Dil Dhillon.

Into battle. Captain Cobramovich put us to bat. Openers for us were Davidof and Brandonovski. Slow and steady was the word of the day and both had the right idea. Brandonovski was the first down. A valiant dozen dots on the sheet before being bowled by Stevens. Antonov strolls in, newly returned to the fold after a shocking bicycle fall, nearly blinded by a granny basket. His half dozen dots helped us along but he was soon out again by Stevens, again for 0.

Naughty Antonov
Naughty Antonov

Comrade commissar Treasurer Ilyeva was in. And out for 0. But there was controversy over his stumping? The bail had fallen but twice that day we had to speak with the umpires as the bails were badly placed. So not sure about how Ilyeva was taken. Windy out there.

Captain Cobramovich… A white silken figure slides into the crease opposite Davidof. By now the latter has knocked up 9 until bowled Hackett. Cobramovich now settling in is joined by Chipmonkski. Can this partnership halt the utter collapse. Can the nibbling talent fight it out. Sadly not. Chipmonkski nobbled for 0. The feeling of sliding down a greased slope of ice, butt naked and oiled up to the maximum is something we are all aware of and felt as slippery and predictably the SCC outcome as a nine month sentence for Gerbil abuser. But wait, Robski is in.

He and Cobramovich have some fun and stall the RCC’s onslaught. Captain C finally caught behind for 14. But Robski was kept company by Yuri. 3 runs scored by him and a number of dots. Robski out for 6 off Taylor. Arrive Petrov. Boy, keen was he for the making of runs. When Yuri headed in he was passed by a defiant Jontin. These two, Petrov and Jontin then set about some ball smackery. Petrov taking 19 until LBW Shipley. Dil was briefly in before Jontin was bowled for 21.

In the field we work. Good job because the team of youngsters that RCC fielded were county colts and keen to belt the ball all over the pitch. Bowling openers were Petrov and Yuri. The former bowling 10 overs for 23, and 2 maidens AND 3 wickets. Good work comrade. Yuri bowling 9 for 38 and a wicket catch by Robski.

Chipmonkski had a tidy bowl nibbling 7 overs for for 33. Great accuracy and useful numbers. Cobramovich fed their desire to smack and generated a lovely and useful wicket. Antonov, despite only bowling 1.3 overs took two wickets, one bowled and caught. His chest deflection was particularly spectacular.

Guest Hooper
David Hooper at rest

Ilyeva ran a marvellous match, saving and returning some vital balls. Robski was fab in wicket and now becoming quite adept. Jontin pouched a beauty of a catch. Davidof made some good deep field defence. Brandonovski, despite a calf injury, valiantly fought on. Dil… A fine figure on his home ground and a good arm to boot.

That night, after a loss, we won with barbecue and beer and a closing ceremony for the Olympics too. Thank you, comrades. Vive la revolution.

SCC innings

RCC innings

Match Report – NFTS v SCC: 17th Sept 2011

Beautiful Penn St.

NFTS victory 226-3 :  SCC all out for 80

Comrades, i am just out of the bath. It was hot and soothing and has helped to return my poor aching muscles to some kind of normal. What a day we had of it yesterday? It was a great one. We had all of the highs and lows of the game, we had injuries, we met new friends, we had pro scoring and a twelfth man. We had youth and seniority and laughs and high tension, rain and sun, wind and calm. We had a great day of cricket.

Scorers, Victoria and Pete

What a lovely little pitch is Hit or Miss, Penn Street? Sweet pavilion for both children and cricketers and a trim and beautiful green and wicket. Guy Hake and the SCC commissariat arranged this new and exciting fixture and upon arrival he was hard at work mowing, rolling and making fine the environs. We soon had our full team at the pavilion and PAWS were getting on like a raucous, garrulous and utterly chummy bunch. First big  thanks to Victoria Wood, Peter (her new bloke!) and Annabel Tarrant for coming along and scoring and adding support and assistance. The lovely Mrs. Yuri-P, Kate Richardson, the delightful Ms. Ilyeva, Margit Wettler and the well assembled and ultra-supportive family of comrade Antonov, Tony Dickie.

Andropov at Drop off

Captain Commissar, Marx-B (Mark Blackledge) entered the toss and we were fielding first. Opening bowlers being myself, Yuri-P and Robski Dabitoff. A valiant opening session was attempted and at least nobody wet themselves. However, within the space of the first hour, two of our cricket stalwarts were effectively stretchered off. Outfield comrade Andropov Slipswell, took a screaming tumble in reception of the ball, some say this was outside of an over, i feel there was a hole in the space time continuum through which the ball traversed. But slipped did Andropov and was soon hobbling back to the Pavilion. A devastating blow from which we had to recover. Luckily, PAWS Victoria Wood had brought along her new and brave  man, Pete (brave for playing cricket, not going out with Victoria!). So Peter became comrade Pete’ski out in the field. Then what?

Oh no, comrades. Fellow instigator of cricketing madness, comrade commissar treasurer, Ilyeva took a strange and beguiling slip in the dip to the West of the ground and was limping in. But he was not down-hearted and despite vigorous advice to sit down with his legs wide open and stop the ball with his crotch, he chose to be replaced by NFTS 12th man, Rob – Thank you Rob! Margit will be forever grateful that you saved Ilyeva’s crotch from a sure smashing. She likes to preserve these things for herself.

There was some sterling work in the field from the likes of Antonov, Soldya (Mad Hatter), Marx-Jnr (Buster) and before their falls, Ilyeva and Andropov! But let’s consider the bowling. Figures are figures but names to remember from the day are some outstanding results from Marx-Junior Buster’ski who produced 1 for 44 off 8 overs, Yuri-P gaining 1 off 25 for 7 overs, Hudski with many close wickets and only 22 runs off 7 overs AND not to mention some sterling work withe the ball by Cobramovich, Robski, Soldya and Chipmunkski of Sussex.

Marx-Bs Jnr and Snr.

A delicious tea seemed to take the edge off the grim fact that we were facing 226 for 3 in a timed match. It was looking like a chase for a draw and so we set off. Openers were Antonov and Cobramovich. I wish i could report well of the session but we were barely away before we had lost both. Was it the pitch? Was it the sun? Was it just cricket!? It was the latter. Cobra bowled cleanly, Antonov caught off Sharma. So father and son duet, Marx-B and Marx-Junior were together and Marx-B took a helpful 14 before being caught, Rowe. Hudksi came aboard and helped Marx-Junior to get 15 before the youthful Marx was removed caught, Singh.

Yuri-P was a twat and ran himself out for nothing. Indeed, I didn’t even face a ball.

Brotherly comrade Chipmunkski stole 2 runs before being bowled, court. But cut a fine figure in his blue cap. Soldya helped out with a stallion of 5 runs until LBW. And then into the frame strolled Robski Dixon. We had to go for a draw. We had no choice. There were well over ten overs remaining and it wasn’t going to be easy but Robski got his head down and was defending beautifully. Andropov Slipswell, despite doctor’s orders, took to the field, runner was Yuri-P. Andropov was after some pay-back for his ankle and hit out for a total of 6 runs until caught Court. This meant that as we had not 13th man, Yuri-P got a second bite of the cherry.

Reclining pros

So there we stood, Robski and Yuri-P. We had a total of ninety plus balls to survive to hold a draw. This would not be easy. But in true comradely style, Robski and Yuri-P got our heads down and defended and played tactical. Indeed, the partnership battled on to the pen-ultimate over, when after moving a fielder to the repeated destination, Robski was lured into a midfield catch by Goodwin and we were finished. BUT a great attempt.

That was the game and the game is all done. We had a great match and a great day and the tea was truly lovely. The pitch, venue and pub was bang on and we shall be back next year for a return match. Comrades… Always, victors occasionally (one day!!)